Always and Forever (Always #2) Read online

  I need to snap back to the reality of this situation. "Listen, we need to be professional, Luke. Forget our past. That's done. I obviously work for you, which I had no idea about. So, should I sit down?" I gesture to my seat. I have to change the subject, the situation.

  Why the hell is this happening?

  "No!" His hands ball into fists. I wince at his anger and his green eyes soften as he sees my reaction.

  What the hell is going on?

  "Who's hitting you, Ellie?" he asks, his face unreadable.

  I scoff and sit down in the chair. "I'm not your Ellie. And that's none of your business." I fold my arms and he takes a seat at his end of the table. He runs his hands through his hair.

  This is the only man I ever loved, and here he is, my fucking boss. "How long have you lived in LA?"

  He raises his head and meets my eyes. "Ella. Don't," he warns, a look of sorrow defining his features.

  "How long have you lived in LA?" I ask again, my curiosity killing me softly.

  "Three years."

  I'm sure I can’t hide the shock from my face. "Three years." I consume the words. I nod my head through the sarcasm. "Three fucking years, huh?" I stand again. "I don't want to see you right now. Fire me, whatever. You know our past, and yet here I am. And you've been living under my nose for the past three years." I pick up my notebook and walk to the door; he gets in front of me, blocking my exit.

  "I owe you an explanation." He sighs. His hot breath teases my cheek and I stand back.

  "I don't want to know," I lie, my body filled with pure anxiety. "I don't care."

  "Ella, please. Let me tell you what happened." I push against his arm to move him away from the door, but his eyes are distracting, powerful.

  "I'll tell you what happened." My tone rises with frustration. "You owe me nothing. You left me with nothing. I had everything one day, and lost it all the next. You knocked some chick up and finished with me a few hours later. And then, get this, you haven't even tried to contact me in the five years I’ve lived here. Yet you've been here for three of them? I don't need anything from you." I spit the last sentence at him and pull on the handle. "Let me out." My voice wavers. "Now!" Luke moves to the left and I find my way to the nearest restroom and cry.

  ****

  Looking into the mirror I see eighteen-year-old Ella again.

  That mess of a fragile, pitiful girl.

  As I dab my eyes with some tissue I hear a knock on the door. I’d locked the inside of the toilets on my floor. Checking I don’t look like I've been crying, something I haven't done in four years, I unlock the metal lock and Daisy barges in.

  "Tell me now." I love Daisy; she always knows when I'm falling back into that pit.

  "It's nothing," I insist, and she lifts my chin with her thumb and forefinger.

  "Lying is a bad habit, Ella. Tell me, babe."

  Sighing, I lift my heavy body onto the sinks and swing my legs underneath me. "You know I told you I’ve only ever been in love once?"

  "Yeah." She tucks some hair behind my ear.

  I sniff and wipe my nose. "You know the owner of this company? Mr. J, as we call him up here?"

  She scoffs and folds her arms across her chest. "Luke James? Yeah, he's fucking beautiful. I had a meeting with him yesterday. What about him?" I raise my eyebrows and her hazel eyes fill with realization. "Noooo." She moves away slightly. "Wait." She holds her hand up and shakes it slightly. "Luke fucking James, is your Luke? The love of your life, left you forever Luke?"

  I nod.

  She stands with her jaw slack. "Fucking hell, Ella."

  "I know. I fucking know, Dais! What the hell am I going to do?" I jump down from the sinks and Cassandra, my assistant, walks in.

  "Oh hey, ladies. Ella? You know you're meant to be in a meeting, right?" Cass walks into a cubicle and locks the door.

  I roll my eyes at Daisy and she grins. "Yeah, I know. I've finished the meeting and I’m done for the day. Could you wrap the rest of my meetings up and tell Tyler I said sorry?"

  The toilet flushes and Cassandra walks out to wash her hands. "I don't want you to lose your job, Ella. You're the best boss I've ever had."

  That makes me smile. I touch her shoulder and her soft, friendly smile makes me feel so guilty. "I know, Cass. It will all be okay, I promise."

  She smiles and nods, leaving Daisy and me alone again.

  "Why are you going home, Ella?" Daisy asks as soon as the door closes behind Cass.

  "I can't stay here right now. I have to clear my mind, and I promise I won’t drink."

  Daisy furrows her little brown eyebrows and shakes her head. "Just don't go to Nathan, Ella. He won’t make you feel better." She pulls me into a hug and I try hiding the pain from her squeezing my bruised ribs. "I'll call you later, babe, okay?"

  I nod and she leaves the restroom.

  The situation I never wanted is now playing right in front of me and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

  ****

  "SAY IT AGAIN!" Nathan roars as he fills me hard and fast.

  “FUCK ME HARDER!" I scream, my lungs screaming at me to relax.

  I'm against a wall this time; it's actually the most gentle he's been with me in a very long while. His hands are grasping my ass; my legs are wrapped around him. He's pounding me with every slice of strength he has, and biting my neck hard every time I whimper.

  "Yeah, that's fucking right, Ella. I will fuck you harder. So fucking hard you'll still feel me inside you tomorrow." His words twist with my desire, and he smashes his mouth to mine as my orgasm erupts and explodes inside me.

  Yes, he hurts me.

  Yes, he hates me.

  But I love it.

  It's not love making.

  It's pure sex.

  Hard, fuck-me sex.

  Nathan approached me at a bar when I was on the prowl for some hot man to take me home. And take me home he did. He was gorgeous, his body smothered in tattoos, and abs so fucking tempting I couldn't say no. He was rough with me, he told me he wanted me in all these different ways, and I was curious. Normally men just fucked me and went to sleep. Not Nathan. He had me for hours.

  Nathan finds his release and his hand wraps around my throat. He always does this. Always tries to stop me breathing. I can feel it again, and his face becomes two as my brain swims with memories. My lungs struggle to take breath and my heavy body falls to the floor. His foot connects with my thigh and a pain runs from the point of contact right up my spine in an electric current.

  My hair hurts. He pulls me from the floor by my ponytail and pushes me back against the wall. I try to reach for him to make him stop.

  He must have had a bad day.

  "Nathan," I whimper, my voice cracking. "Please stop, baby."

  He doesn’t.

  He hits my cheek with such a force I fall to the ground. I'm immediately lifted back up and he does it again. "Please," I breathe. "Just, please."

  His brown eyes are full of anger. "No."

  My body falls, limp. He throws me against the bed and lays his full weight on top of me.

  My rib cracks.

  My pain becomes numbness.

  "Why do you come back for more?" he asks as he pulls me back up by my ponytail.

  How am I still conscious?

  His hand is balled into a fist and he hits me in my jaw causing my neck to move awkwardly and I hear a small snap.

  Fuck, he's going to kill me.

  But I can't move. I can't do anything. My body has given up its fight.

  Only moments ago I was experiencing an orgasm, now I'm going to die.

  The darkness takes over, making me sleep.

  This is it.

  ****

  I fucking hurt.

  I lift my head as slowly as I can as the sunshine pierces through the window.

  What the hell? Nathan doesn't ever have his curtains open.

  Shit. I'm in the hospital, aren't I? Where's Nathan?

  "Just stay still, Ellie
." Luke's soft voice fills the silence.

  Luke?

  "I found you pretty close to death on the beach. You were just laying there, Ella. I was taking my morning run and there you were, fucking purple." His head is bowed, his hands twisting through one another. He’s in running gear but blood is splattered across his sneakers.

  "You're covered in blood," I whisper. My voice is raspy, painful. His head lifts and his eyes meet mine. "Hi."

  "Hey," he whispers back. "You scared the shit out of me. I'll get a nurse." He begins to stand.

  "No wait." I try sit up. "Just stay for a minute."

  "Okay." He plays with a ring on his wedding finger. Oh, fuck my actual life.

  "You're married?" I breathe, my eyes transfixed on his ring.

  "Engaged. Listen, Ella." He stands and walks over to the bed. "You work for me, this isn't going to work."

  I'm fired. I nearly die, now I'm getting fired. Fucking A.

  "I want to transfer you, if you’re willing?"

  My brows furrow and I cough slightly, gasping for air. My ribs hurt so much. "Transfer to where?"

  He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. His hands that I love. Loved. "New York."

  I'm in a state of shock. My pain has gone again, replaced by a heavy feeling in my stomach. "You want to get rid of me? Nathan should have just killed me."

  "No, I don't want to get rid of you. But I don't want you to lose your job either. You used to love writing. I don't want to be the one to ruin that chance for you. I'll make sure everything is sorted for you. Accommodation, money."

  He can't look at me.

  "You're lying to me, Luke. You forget I used to know you pretty well. Tell me the truth."

  "Nathan's dead," he says, deadpan.

  My heart stops. I can't breathe. "What?" Tears flood my eyes.

  "Don’t cry for that motherfucker!" Luke's tone becomes harsh. "He deserved it."

  He's dead? Nathan's dead? I feel sudden sadness. I feel sad for a life that has been lost. Sad for a man whose issues buried him in his own emotions. "How?" I ask, my brain swimming with confusion. He nearly killed me; there was no way I killed him.

  "I'm not going to lie to you, so listen well, okay?" I nod and he clears his throat. "I followed you last night. Well, a member of my security team followed you. You went straight to Nathan’s apartment. Harrison, my security, saw Nathan throw you out onto the street and slam the door behind him. You were unconscious. He phoned me straight away."

  I can't fucking believe this. I urge him to carry on.

  He breathes in deeply. "You wouldn't wake up. I got to you as fast as I could. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That's why I got Harry to follow you. You were on the brink of death, Ella. You've got two broken ribs, a bruised fibula, and your skin is bruised to shit. You have serious bruising to your neck as well, which is why you have that cast on." He points to the uncomfortable pillow thing keeping my neck straight. "So, when I got to you, I got mad. I saw red. I punched Nathan's front door. He opened it and my fist met his face. We got into a pretty serious fight. He didn't fight me back. Not once. But I couldn't give in. He nearly killed the girl I-" He stops himself. "The girl who works for me. It's not on."

  "What? Are you fucking crazy? You don't go around killing people, Luke! It's not fucking normal!"

  "You think I don’t know that?" he spits through clenched teeth. "I was protecting you, from yourself."

  I'm crying again. I seriously cannot believe this.

  "Ella, please don't cry for him."

  "I want you to leave."

  "I can’t, Ella. These people, the police, they think I found you like this. Only you and Harrison know Nathan is dead."

  "What have you done with him?"

  "He's gone, okay? He won't hurt you anymore."

  "I just can't believe you have the power to kill someone and nobody ever know about it. Have you done it before?" I lift my arm and hold my fingers toward the hot rays of sunshine.

  "Never," he whispers. "I just want you safe, Ella. I will always want you safe."

  "You’d better go. Your fiancée will need you. Don’t worry, I'll cover for you."

  "Ella."

  "Just go. Forget me. Yes, I'll go to New York. I'll leave. You clearly don’t want me here. Just go. Let me be."

  He stands and walks over to me. He leans down and kisses my forehead. I inhale his scent, and memorize this moment. "You’re beautiful. You deserve so much better."

  Then he's gone and I'm alone without him again.

  CHAPTER THREE

  New York

  Three Months Later

  Luke kept his promises. I live in an apartment pretty close to Times Square and it must cost a fortune.

  But he hasn't called. He doesn’t care enough to.

  I got out of hospital a week later, explained to Jade what was happening with her apartment, and she kept it, regardless. It's still her home. Simba has come with me, obviously, and is blissfully happy as my house cat. He's my only company some days. I've stopped drinking, unless socially, and stopped sleeping around. I did meet someone a month ago and we've been dating. His name is Ryan. He's not my type at all. But he cares about me, and I guess that's enough right now.

  Jade hasn't phoned me in at least a month. I miss her so bad some nights. Yet here I am, in front of my panoramic window, New York across from my fingertips.

  Simba is sprawled across my lap, purring loudly. I'm glad he's happy because I sure as hell am not. Yeah, I stopped drinking. I stopped sleeping around. But Nathan's death has had an effect on me that makes my heart physically hurt.

  Luke confused me. He killed him. Luke did. Luke, the boy who stole my heart when I was eighteen. That Luke. It's going to burden me forever, knowing what I know and keeping it to myself. It's a lot of him to ask from me, but I'm willing to keep quiet for him. Life has a way of throwing you around sometimes.

  Daisy transferred with me, as did Cassandra. They both live with me here, and did this for the company. It was a huge ask for them to come with me, but apparently they got a raise. They don’t know about Nathan's death, but Daisy has never been so happy as to see me recovering. She has looked after me for weeks, making sure I eat properly and focus on my work.

  Saturday nights are the loneliest. They both go out and I refuse to. Ryan said he wanted to take me out tonight but I can't go. I don’t want to go. Adele is playing loudly throughout the apartment. I stand, much to Simba's disapproval, and head to the kitchen to look for a take out menu. My sweat pants pocket starts to vibrate. Pulling out my iPhone, I see it's a blocked number. Swiping the green bar at the bottom, I answer.

  In case it's work, I turn down the music and put on my posh voice. "Ella Stone."

  "Ellie." His voice sings through me, twisting and tightening my nerves.

  My whole body tenses. "Luke," I practically breathe. "Are you okay?"

  "Can I see you?"

  Can you see me? Um, no.

  "I'm sorry, Luke. No."

  "Please." His word is a beg. A plea.

  Sighing, I drop my head. "Why?"

  "I just need a friend. I'm in New York. Can I swing by the apartment? I'll bring food."

  I suppose we do need to talk. I smile, and shake it off immediately. "Yeah. If you have food, how can I say no?"

  "I'll be there soon. Still like cheeseburgers?" His tone has improved slightly.

  "Of course I do." I tap my rumbling tummy at the thought of food.

  "I'll be there soon. Oh, and Ella?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Don't dress up. I just want to see you okay?"

  I scowl at that remark. "I wasn’t going to dress up. I'm comfy as I am thank you very much." I giggle and he lets out a light laugh.

  "See you soon."

  ****

  I pour some food into Simba's bowl and throw myself on the sofa. Sighing into the cushion I turn over and speak to my home entertainment system. "TV ON." The screen comes to life. I can't get over how fucking awesom
e that is.

  Sighing, I think about Luke. It's like nothing ever happened. Now, after three months, he decides to show up at my apartment. I might be secretly looking forward to seeing him but I have every right to. I miss him. I always have. The TV plays The Script's, For the First Time and irony hits.

  Funny.

  I pull the elastic from around my wrist and tie my long brunette hair into some kind of bun on the top of my head. It's messy but it'll do. I gently run my finger across the inside of my arm and let it graze the soft, long bumps. Those are just a part of me now, a part of who I am.

  Jumping up from the sofa, I take out a Dr. Pepper from the cooler and pull the ring pull. Simba runs to the other side of the room. He hates the noise after you pull on a can of drink. It's freaking hilarious. As my lips hit the can, the doorbell rings.

  I don’t know why, but my whole body shakes. In fear? No. Butterflies. I haven't felt these in so long. I put my can on the coffee table, on a coaster, and head for the door. Looking through the peephole, I see Luke staring at the floor. He's nervous. I open the door and he looks up immediately. Simba comes bounding for the door and I know all hell is about to break loose.

  "Quick! Come in!" I pull on Luke’s arm and he stumbles in as I close the door before that bundle of gingerness can exit.

  "Who was that?" Luke laughs as he walks into the kitchen and puts the shopping bags on the side.

  I frown. "Really? You don't know who that is?"

  Realization hits and he nods. "Sorry, I forgot I bought you a cat. A little chubby, but hey ho." He grins, and I swear my knees crumble beneath me. His smile is so beautiful. He has dimples? Why have I never noticed before? Maturity, that's why.

  "Hey!" I joke. "Leave my chubby cat alone."

  Luke puts his hands up in protest then starts to unpack the food. "Plates?"

  I point to the cupboard above his head, and he pulls two out.

  "Wine glasses?"

  I point to the cupboard to the left of him.

  "Are you going to speak?"

  I shake my head. He looks fucking beautiful. His hair is all mismatched on his head, pointing at different angles. He's wearing a tight, and when I say tight, I mean tight, t-shirt. Yeah, it's warm today in NY, but I can practically see his tattoos underneath the whiteness of his shirt. He's wearing a pair of loose, light blue jeans, with a belt wrapping around his waist. He has a pair of Chucks on, of course. The tattoo up his arm fascinates me. The swirls of black ink start from his chest. They twist and tangle and stop at his elbow. But he has an extra design on his forearm. It's definitely Arabic. The whole tattoo stops in a circle around his wrist.