Always and Forever (Always #2) Read online

  Always and Forever

  Book Two in The Always Series

  Bethan Cooper

  Never Say Goodbye – Book One in The Always Series.

  Copyright © 2015 Bethan Cooper

  Cover design – Pretty Little Creations

  Editor – Kyra Lennon

  Formatter – Kirsty-Anne Still

  KINDLE EDITION

  All rights reserved. Please keep this book in its complete original form with the exception of quotes used in reviews. No alteration of the contents is allowed. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means – electronic, mechanical, photographic (photocopying) recording, or otherwise – without prior permission in writing from the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This is a New Adult Romance novel recommended for readers over the age of 17 due to sexual themes and adult situations.

  Author acknowledges use of – Jason Derulo.

  Dedications

  For the man who loves me with everything he has.

  My Coops.

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  EPILOGUE

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  WHAT’S NEXT?

  CHAPTER ONE

  I peel myself away from the sweaty skin that's resting across my waist.

  I move the guy’s arm gently and stand. The floor squeaks and I freeze on the spot as he turns back over.

  "What the hell was I thinking?" I groan quietly, and gently slip on my lace panties that are delicately hanging from the bedpost. With them back in their rightful place, I find my dress from last night’s ridiculous party.

  Going to a party with Jade always ends up like this. I mentally block the stupid girl’s head out of my mind and close the door to this guy’s shabby apartment behind me.

  When I reach the outdoors, the fresh, hot, LA air hits me first, filling my lungs with sweet smoke-free air.

  I scramble through my purse looking for a dime, a dollar - anything.

  Finding my wallet and cell I pull out a dollar bill. I spot a vending machine across the parking lot and stride over, barefoot, heels in hand. I put in my dollar, type in the number for water, and bend to pick it up. Unscrewing the cap and place the bottle against my dry lips. I drink it all in ten seconds. Finding another dollar I buy another.

  Right, Ella. Taxi. I run toward the sidewalk and walk a few blocks down. Why, why, why?

  I promised myself I wasn't going to do this anymore with stupid, random guys. I try to block out the flashbacks of last night, not only how shit the sex was, but how that guy was. Well, he was weird. I sigh and hail a taxi. It pulls up beside me and I slide into the passenger seat.

  "Thanks," I mutter, and pull out two fifty-dollar bills.

  "Where to, lady?"

  I raise my eyebrow at him, his sweaty forehead making me gag slightly. "Um, Traves Avenue, please," I say through a gasp as he speeds away.

  "Flashy lady, huh? Looks to me like you had a one night stand."

  Oh, fuck you, Mr. Taxi Man.

  "Hey! I pay you to drive me home, so drive me. No dictating my life to me, okay?"

  He shrugs and puts his foot down. Images of guy number-fuck-knows make my stomach churn. Visions of his deep brown eyes capture me for a second, and I gaze through them in my mind. It was the eyes, clearly. I groan at my thoughts and pull out my cell. I have emails from my boss and a text from Jade.

  *Hey girl, had 2 go back 2 work.

  Hope you get home okay.

  Left some goodies for you at home.*

  Oh, goodies. I smile and reply to her.

  *In a cab right now. Just turning into the complex.

  Hope you have a good day on set and enjoy it.

  Miss you.

  P.S. I'm never drinking Sex on the Beach again ;)*

  I rifle through my purse to find my key then push it into the lock and walk into my hallway. Simba, my fat ginger cat, greets me. Another memory of Luke sucks into my life like a leech. I throw my bag on the side and pour a large glass of white wine. Before I take a sip, I check my cell and realize it's nine thirty am. Okay, Ella. Too early. I roll my eyes and pour the wine down the sink. Simba is weaving through my legs like a maniac and I bend down to pat his head.

  "Fat little kitty," I coo, and he meows in appreciation when I pour some cat food into his bowl. I turn on the kettle and my cell begins to vibrate on the side. It's Cassie, my best friend at work, and I answer the call.

  "Yeah?" I say, holding my cell between my shoulder and cheek.

  "Ella! Darling! Princess! Angel!" I sigh and grin, opening my refrigerator to find the pizza box from last night. I grab a slice and take a big bite.

  "Hey, Cassie. What's up?" I say through a mouthful of pleasure.

  "Hey, girl! Whatcha eating? Not a man I hope! "She gasps in amusement and I nearly choke on my pizza.

  "No, babe. Just a pizza," I say through a laugh.

  "Oh, beautiful. I, it's nine-thirty a-fucking-m. You need to watch those curves, girl."

  "Shut up!" I run the faucet and wash my hands of the sticky pizza grease.

  "Oh, you know you love me. Hey, listen, the CEO is in today. Did you get my memo?" I knock a glass over at her admission. "You okay? Ella?"

  "No. I'm not fucking ready! And no I didn't receive a frigging memo! What time is he in?" I gently pick up the small pieces of glass.

  "Around ten thirty-ish. You need to get ready, girl." She clicks her tongue.

  "Oh, fuck. Listen, my car’s at work. Do me a favor and drive it here. Please," I say in my best angelic voice.

  "You'll be the death of me, Ella. See you in ten, missy. Be ready." I throw my cell on the side and run to the bathroom.

  ****

  Work makes me depressed.

  I know, I know. Stupid word to use.

  I work for an enterprise, which consists of writing shit for shit. I have next to no money, live in Jade's posh LA apartment, and spend my evenings polishing off a bottle of wine and sleeping with men. The sex empty. That's what I live with needing; sex and lots of it.

  It makes me feel vulnerable, wanted. I'm twenty-four years old. I'm living my fucking life.

  My mom never calls anymore and my sister doesn't want to know me. I'm worse off now than I ever was. The only being that makes me happy is Jade. She's my best friend, when she wants to be. She works away a lot. She's an actress, insanely famous, to the point where paparazzi follow me around.

  I’m not scared anymore though, of life.

  Before, I'd cut myself. I'd let the blood flow from the wound and smile as the release flowed out. But now, that's what sex does. I can’t have children. After purging for years after high school, I fucked up my body, my periods were non-existent and I constantly felt ill. Polycystic ovary syndrome, the doc said, but to me it's a fucking disease. A punishment.

  The CEO didn't come in today. So I go back to my cave to face all the demons in my
head, and fall into a reality that is fake.

  ****

  "Nathan, please don't!" I back up against the wall. He puts his fist next to my face. I gulp back the fear and watch his dark, angry brown eyes scan my body. "Was he good, Ella? Did he satisfy you?” I stare back into the eyes of an abuser, and panic. "Did. He. Satisfy. You. Ella?" Swallowing hard, I feel the tears I didn't want to come appear in my eyes. "Answer me, dammit!" He punches the wall hard, his fist goes straight through. I shake my head just to shut him up, and he smirks. "Not as good as me, right?" He removes his fist from the wall; he slaps my face hard causing me to fall to the floor, blood filling my mouth. I spit it out. I look up and see his knuckles are bleeding profusely, and he has that stare across his brow.

  "It's me, Ella. You fucking know that, you dirty bitch." His hands clasp around my throat and I struggle to take another breath. He lifts me to my feet. Why I always come back to Nathan, I don’t know. He has this hold on me I can’t shake off. Yet we both cheat on each other. The blood slows through my veins and I can’t feel the pain that’s desperate to make me feel. My head swims and a cloud washes across my eyes. Nathan lets go of my throat and pulls me towards his bedroom - and again, he will have his way with me, without my consent.

  ****

  This is worse than any depression I claimed to have suffered during high school. Nathan is bound to kill me some day, and I keep it going. I’m too afraid to tell the police; he’s threatened to go after my friends and family if I report him.

  I stir awake in Nathan's bed. Fuck, I feel sick. I always feel sick. Running to the bathroom, I let the contents of my stomach escape. The retches take over my body, and I hold onto the sides of the toilet bowl, not caring about the dirty floor or the limescale around the rim. After my body has recovered, I switch on the radio in his bathroom and Radiohead's Creep fills the dark room. I stare into the mirror and see deep black bruises across my pale skin, the purple outline tender and sore. Running my finger along the bruises, I wince. My eye is the worst, the purple bold and strong around the socket, and the swelling causing it to nearly shut. I’m always the victim. I don’t want this anymore. Unlocking the door, I burst into Nathan's bedroom and rip the comforter from his body.

  "What the fuck?" He stirs and stares at me. His face mellows when I stand naked before him.

  "Is this what you want me to look like? Marked? Shamed by you?" I spit.

  He smiles and stands from the bed. I know why I’m attracted to Nathan; he makes me feel like nothing to him, which is what I want, to hide the pain of my past.

  "Always, Els." His fingers trace over his marks and his lips gently graze mine. "You're so beautiful. I'm so sorry I did this to you, you just make me so - so fucking mad."

  I give in to his kiss and let him work against me before I push him away. "I've gotta go. I need to get to work," I stammer, falling around the bedroom, looking for my things. I feel his dark eyes follow me around the room, invading me more than he has already. I slip my dress over my head and pull on my Converse. Glancing at myself in the mirror I see my eye is worse. "Fucking hell, Nathan. What am I going to tell them at work? Look at the state of me!" He shrugs and pulls the comforter back over his body. "Well, thanks for caring. Ass."

  He flips me the bird and I open and slam his front door.

  As I step into the sticky LA air, the smoke clears from my mind as I try to clear him away. I walk over to my car and drive home.

  ****

  "Hey, Ella. What the fuck?" Daisy pulls my arm and drags me into the girls’ restroom. She gently pulls my sunglasses from my face and gasps in horror. Her hands cover her mouth and she shakes her head. "I'll fucking kill him."

  She begins to leave and I grab her arm. I went to work, regardless of these bruises. I need something to take my mind off Nathan. He’s a craving now. Like an addiction, but much stronger. He has me under lock and key. He makes me feel like the piece of shit I am.

  "Wait. Daisy, it's okay. I'll be okay." Daisy is my closest friend at work; she knows everything about my life. She saves me all the time.

  "You need to finish with him," she states firmly. "Or I'll beat his ass up. You deserve better."

  I push my sunglasses back over my eyes and feel immediately safe. “I’ll be fine. I cheated on him. I deserved it."

  "What? Are you blind? Nobody deserves a black eye, and I'm guessing he had his way with you again? When is it going to stop, Ella?" She walks closer to me.

  Shrugging my shoulders I step back. "I don't want to talk about that right now, okay? Just let me deal with it."

  "Okay," she whispers. "Just so you know, the CEO is hanging around today. I had a meeting with him yesterday. Try to stay away from him and, well, anyone. Okay?"

  Nodding, I pull out a light pink lip-gloss and streak it across my lips. "I'll be fine."

  Daisy pulls me into an awkward hug and I try my hardest to keep my arms covered.

  Breathing in, I walk what feels like ten miles to my desk and sit down on my chair. Pulling the lever underneath, I make sure I’m at my lowest. A bright yellow sticky note is stuck to my iMac.

  I pull it away to read it and my stomach flips over.

  Ella,

  I don't know why you're late but the CEO has asked to see you at 10:30am.

  Tyler

  Screwing up the note, I throw it into my trashcan and pick up the office phone.

  "James Enterprises." Jamie's soft voice flows through the line.

  "Jamie, it's Ella on level six. Can you put me straight through to Tyler's office, please?"

  "Sure, babe." I wait for the connecting tone and sigh when I hear Tyler's voice.

  "Ella. Get my note?"

  "Yeah I did, Ty. I'm sorry I was late - again. Listen, I can't meet the CEO today. I'm not well."

  "Unlucky. If you want to keep your job, Ella, you need to step up. You have been slacking recently. What's with you?"

  "Nothing," I lie. "I'll be fine. But do I really have to meet him today?"

  "Yeah, you do. Mr. J insisted. Listen, I don't think it's anything bad, okay? I think it's a general check up on your department. You guys have been working so hard all year. You've met your targets and followed procedures. You should be fine."

  "Okay," I whisper, terrified of what the CEO will think. "Where do I have to be?"

  "Meeting room, level ten, in ten minutes. Okay?"

  "Sure."

  "Have a good day, Ella."

  "Thanks, Tyler. You too."

  Pulling down my skirt to cover the bruise on my thigh, I step back into my shoes and take my notebook and basics, and make my way to the meeting room. The sunglasses still shade my eyes; I’d tried to cover the marks the best I could with concealer. Wandering into a restroom, I pull down my hair and part my bangs to cover my eye. My hair just makes it look like a shadow. Folding up my sunglasses I straighten up and breathe in deeply.

  Knocking gently on the meeting room door, I feel my heart in my throat. What if I get fired? What if I lose everything?

  "Come in!" shouts a masculine, familiar voice, and I pull on the metallic handle. Taking a step forward, I lean back against the door as it shuts. With my notebook clutched to my chest, I take another deep breath.

  "Please take a seat at the end of the table -" Mr. J pauses to look at his book. "Ella." Pulling out the chair at the opposite side of the table, I feel bile rise to my throat. He looks up from his papers. I know him.

  CHAPTER TWO

  His hair is different.

  His body has bulked.

  His demeanor is different.

  He's beautiful.

  His white shirt clings to his biceps as he writes on his paper. He's wearing a black tie hanging loosely and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. A tattoo is painted along his right arm, a sleeve of tribal patterns, and somewhat looks like Arabic script. Luke James.

  I need to leave; I can't let us meet again like this. My stomach fills with nerves as my mind swarms with distracting memories. It may have only
been three weeks, just that one summer, but he is the only guy I’ve ever loved.

  "So," Luke starts. As he looks up, I look down. "Nice to meet you, Ella. How are you?"

  "Good. Yourself?" I look down at my notebook, faking a British accent.

  "I know you." Again he glances down at my file. "Wait -"

  I jump up. "Listen, you're obviously going to fire me, so just do it."

  Luke stands to his feet as I stare at mine, and I hear his footsteps come toward me. "Ella Stone," he whispers when he reaches me. I look down at his Converse.

  "Why are you wearing Converse for work?" I really don’t want to look into his eyes. I will see every lie he ever told me.

  "Ella Stone." His voice is raspy and deep, not like I remember.

  "Why are you wearing Converse?" I repeat, curious as to why he isn’t wearing leather shoes.

  "They're comfortable. Listen, you can't be who I think you are." His index finger gently touches my skin under my chin, and he applies pressure so my head is moved from staring at his shoes to his eyes.

  The green of his irises match mine in that way that makes my heart swell. I hold back the choking sob at the pit of my stomach.

  I back away from him.

  I can't do this.

  "I'm not who you think I am." I fumble with my hair and try to cover my bruised eye.

  Luke moves back slightly and sighs loudly. "Listen, Ella-" he starts, shrugging his hands into his trouser pockets.

  "I don't want to hear it, Luke. Why are you running this company? Why are you here after five years? I don't get it. I’m supposed meeting Mr. J, the CEO of James Corp. Not you.” I scramble my words out, utterly shocked at the feelings consuming me.

  "Ella. First of all, who the fuck gave you a black eye? Second of all, I had no idea you worked here. Third, I run this company. I am Mr. J, as a few of you call me." A long silence passes between us and it makes me feel anxious. What is even happening right now? How the fuck is this real?